Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk
by katie-elise
Summary: Everything Matt is addicted to is just a little bit deadly...including Mello. MattxMello
1. Chapter 1

_A/N Hi there!! So,...not sure how long this is actually going to be, but this idea was just demanding to be written. The song for the title belongs to Rufus Wainwright, (Wainright?), and Matt and Mello belong to...not me. Anyway, criticisms, comments, ideas on where to go from here, all are welcome and encourage me to write more, faster :) Oh, and I actually don't like OC's...but I wanted a third party POV, and none of the other Death Note characters wanted to be personal shoppers :P But from now on, the PV will probably be either Matt or Mello._

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

Lena had to wonder why anyone would hire a personal shopper exclusively to buy two types of goods. Sure, in her line of work she'd encountered some pretty strange requests. Previous employers had ranged everywhere from little old ladies who sent her out to buy cat food to one very strange businessman that had her buy condoms. Most people hired a personal shopper because they were either too busy, too old, or too embarrassed to shop for themselves.

But this job…well, it had to be the strangest one she'd ever had. Lena had to admit, she was really hoping that the customer would be home when she dropped off the goods, so she could get a look at the person who had hired her to buy 5 cartons of cheap cigarettes and 10 gallons of chocolate milk. Lena simply could not understand why the person, they'd sounded like a young man on the phone, could or would not buy this stuff themselves.

They hadn't sounded like a senior citizen, although there was the possibility that they were some other type of invalid. But then why the cigarettes? Surely someone who could not leave their apartment shouldn't be smoking. She decided that they must either be self-conscious of their admittedly strange grocery list, or too busy to lug all that chocolate milk back from the store.

Well, Lena couldn't say that she really cared; at least this job was a tiny bit more interesting than the usual grocery list. She heaved her shopping cart over to the checkout aisle, ignoring the questioning look the acne-prone teen behind the counter gave her, instead asking him to get her 5 cartons of Camel cigarettes. After she'd paid, making sure to stuff the receipt somewhere safe for later reference, Lena hauled the goods out to her Toyota Prius; being a personal shopper paid pretty well, and this cut down on how much she spent on gas driving to and from clients' homes.

Lena swerved expertly through the sunset-lit streets of L.A., taking routes made familiar by her constant state of movement. It took less than 10 minutes to get to the apartment of the cigarettes-and-chocolate-milk guy, which seemed to confirm Lena's suspicion that the reason he'd hired her was because he was embarrassed, since anyone could spare the time it would take to go to the grocery store from this location. She pulled into a parking spot and plunked a dime in the meter; this shouldn't take too long. With a grunt, Lena heaved all that damned chocolate milk over to the door of the complex, buzzing up to apartment 134. "Hey, this is Lena, your personal shopper. I'm here with your groceries".

There was a second of silence, and then the speaker crackled, and a smooth voice said "Stay right there, I'll be down in a second." Lena tapped her foot; her curiosity was peaking again, she was eager to see what this guy looked like, half hoping that he'd be either really strange or insanely attractive. Lena wasn't disappointed on either count.

The young man who opened the door was undeniably good-looking, although he erred more on the side of pretty and delicate than rugged and handsome. And his outfit was enough to confirm that he was strange. What kind of guy wore glistening black leather like a second-skin? And a wicked, albeit sexy, scar marring half his face and trailing down into his top suggested anything but an ordinary person. Not that Lena had expected something less. Seriously, when someone's entire shopping list for a week consisted of cancer sticks and liquid chocolate, there was barely an ice cube's chance in hell they'd be normal.

"That'll be $400." Hey, Lena never said these services came cheap. The young man, her employer, extracted a leather (what else?) wallet from somewhere, and handed over four hundred dollar bills. Lena immediately pegged him as a high-roller. She turned on her charm, face lighting up with her signature mega-watt smile. If at all possible, she'd like to keep working for this guy. He was interesting, without being too creepy, and he was rich, so he might be able to provide a steady work load. Plus, her womanly side was just begging to find out what was (barely) hidden in those pants.

Unfortunately, the blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty seemed immune to Lena's charms. She even busted out the big guns, pushing her ample chest forward and batting her eyes. Huh. Still nothing. Either this guy was the best actor Lena had ever had the pleasure of meeting, or he was not interested in women. Which, frankly, considering his apparel, wouldn't be completely unexpected. Her suspicions were confirmed when he called up the stairs, "Hey, Matt! Come carry your cigarettes, will you?", and another young man clattered down the stairs to join Lena and leather guy on the landing. Matt, as blondie had called him, was less striking than his flatmate, but nonetheless appealing. He had a nice physique, and his red hair, accented by a pair of orange goggles, looked soft and touchable.

"Mello, remind me why we need to hire someone to buy our groceries?" Aha! So leather-boy's name is Mello, Lena thought. A fittingly eccentric name for an eccentric man. Lena watched as Mello fixed his red-haired friend with an absolutely dazzling smile. "Because, Matt, we have more important things to do." At this point, Lena just couldn't keep quiet any longer. "So, you two are a couple? I think that's great. I mean, it's really brave of you, being true to yourself and all that…" Lena trailed off as she took in the two horrified starts she was being fixed with. Oh. So not a couple then. But, if the broad blushes spreading across both of their cheeks could be trusted, there was some serious denial going on here.

Time for a hasty exit, Lena decided. "Well, uh, anyway, here's the receipt for you to look over, and it's been great working for you. Don't hesitate to call me up again if you need to get some more shopping done". And with that, she beat it across the street to the safety of her Prius. She'd likely never see those two again, but at least she had some good fodder for her daydreams.

_Thanks for reading!! Keep watching for the next installment. :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Hmm, not completely satisfied with this...but oh well!! It does it's little transition-y job. And there's some fluff!! :D Yay! And pretty much my favorite date idea ever. And at least one really good innuendo. Maybe two. Or three. ;) Props if you can find them all. _

Chapter 2

To say that the silence in the stair well was stifling was an extraordinary understatement. Mello was still staring at the closed door to the apartment complex, and his mouth was hanging open in a way that mothers the world over have warned will catch flies. Unfortunately, Mello never had a mother figure to tell him not to gape. Matt, who had been staring at Mello staring at the door, had the passing thought that Mello looked rather like a fish in a blond wig. Albeit a rather attractive fish. And certainly better smelling.

Well, Matt was never one to let himself be embarrassed for more than a few minutes. With a small huff, he picked up the boxes of cigarettes sitting on the landing and headed up the stairs. When Mello failed to follow him, he rolled his eyes and called over his shoulder, "Hey, Mello, stop catching flies and let's get this stuff upstairs". Matt apparently had a mother for at least a few years.

Mello finally managed to tear his eyes away from where Lena had departed, hooking one finger through each chocolate milk jug handle to lug the things up to the apartment. He couldn't seem to get the ridiculous notion that he and Matt were a couple out of his head. The idea was just so…so…preposterous. They were best friends, and, well, it would just be awkward. Mello glanced up at Matt's backside ascending the stairs ahead of him. Oh yeah. Awkwardness galore.

Finally getting to the apartment, Matt unlocked the door and shuffled inside, plopping down in one of the under-filled bean bag chairs that served as replacements for the couch he'd lit on fire with a careless cigarette. Mello had sure ridden his ass about that one. Whoa now, not that way. Matt sighed, pushing the power button on his Playstation with the toe of his sneaker. Stupid personal shopper lady. Now everything was going to be a fucking innuendo. Damn it.

For his part, Mello leaned against the fridge, drinking chocolate milk straight from the jug. He'd found that his chocolate intake was significantly faster and more efficient in liquid form. But…well, he was getting bored. All he and Matt ever did was track Kira, hack computer programs, play video games…heck, they never even left the apartment. And Mello hated being bored. He'd never been one to just sit around and do nothing. And maybe it was just the chocolate milk affecting his thought process, or maybe it was that personal shopper lady's comments, or maybe…

Mello finished off his milk, rinsed it out and tossed the jug in the recycling bin. He figured it was the least he could do to counteract the ill effects of his leather wearing habits on the environment. Crossing the short distance from the fridge to the living room, he sat down in one of the bean bags next to Matt, pulling up his legs and wrapping his arms around his knees. He did his best to look nervous and demure, a tough act for Mello, but he pulled it off.

Allowing his hair to fall over the side of his face like a curtain between him and Matt, Mello let out a loud, dissatisfied sigh. Matt didn't even glance over. Mello glanced through the blond strands. "Matty?" He said softly, sounding for all the world like a shy thirteen year-old girl. Matt paused his game and spared Mello a glance. "Hm?". Mello couldn't help a devious smile as he batted his eyelashes. "Go out with me?" "…Mello, I seriously think all that chocolate is starting to affect your brain cells." "Oh come on Matty…", Mello turned on the innocence again, glancing nervously at the carpet and biting his lower lip, "please? Just one date."

To his surprise, Matt unpaused his game and turned back to the screen with a "Whatever". "So…that means yes?" In his shock, Mello dropped the act entirely, his voice taking on its normal tone. "As long as it's not something lame, like dinner and a movie". Mello grinned. "Oh trust me, it won't be".

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"Bowling?!" Mello had to admit, Matt was kind of sexy when he was being incredulous. "Yeah, I love bowling. Plus, it's one of the top suggestions on Wiki How to Plan a Good Date." And then Mello absolutely had to burst out laughing. Matt's face was twisted into a look of horror, disbelief, and just a bit of amusement. "Well, okay, let's get this over with".

Mello beasted Matt at bowling. It wasn't even a contest. But Matt did console himself with the fact that Mello looked absurd in leather pants mixed with hideous green and red bowling shoes, whereas he himself looked rather dashing. His hair matched half of his shoes, at least, and the neon lights reflected nicely on his goggles. The white stripes in his shirt even glowed under the blacklight. He'd tried to flirt with one of the girls behind the counter, but Mello had fixed him with such a look that he'd backed down immediately. Apparently the blond didn't like his dates being stolen, even if they were fake.

Because that's how Matt thought of this. How he _had_ to think of it. There was no way Mello could be serious. This was just a diversion; break up the monotony of their lives a little bit. He slid onto the back of the motorcycle behind Mello as they left the bowling alley, knowing that he'd never be allowed to drive the beautiful machine. Mello was much too protective of it. But Matt refused to wrap his arms around Mello's waist. He'd rather fall off to his doom than cling to his best friend like a trollop.

Matt had expected Mello to take them back to the apartment now that their 'date' was over, so he was confused when Mello pulled into a local park and cut the bike's engine. The blonde slithered from his seat and took off his helmet, shaking out his hair. He wordlessly smiled back at Matt and grabbed his wrist, dragging him towards a bench overlooking the river and settling them both down. Matt understood Mello's need for comfort and contact, so he let him lean his blond head on Matt's shoulder, and didn't try and unclasp their hands. This kind of physical contact had happened before, when Mello was feeling scared or lonely but didn't want to admit it. When that happened, Mello would come to Matt, looking so crestfallen and sad that Matt couldn't help but envelope him in a tender hug, holding him for as long as it took until he felt better.

So when he heard Mello snuffling, and felt drops of water wetting his shirt, Matt knew that it was better to not say anything, and simply lifted his arm and lay it around Mello's shoulders, giving what comfort he could. He knew that Mello had been stressed lately, what with the Kira case and all, and he was only surprised that this hadn't happened sooner. However, he was surprised when Mello tilted his head and looked up, fixing him with watery blue eyes, filled with shyness and uncertainty that, this time, wasn't an act. And then Mello kissed him. At first Matt was too stunned to do anything, and then he gently kissed Mello back. To say that there were fireworks would have been a bit of an overstatement, it felt more like several puzzle pieces had suddenly fallen into place.

And then Mello started to move his lips…_those lips_…and his hands pushed Matt's goggles back off his eyes, trailing through his hair…and suddenly fireworks was a severe understatement of the feelings Matt had coursing through him. Pulling back, Matt looked Mello in the eye, trying to determine if this was all a joke. "Matty, please don't stop. Please." And Matt, although he knew that tomorrow this was all going to be very complicated, couldn't resist. He brushed a lingering tear from Mello's cheek with his thumb, and leaned in to try his best at kissing the fear, pain, and loneliness away, if only for one night.

_A/N: Get prepared for some snuggly warm morning goodness next chapter! :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Woo, another chapter already!!! To make up for 2 and 3 both being fairly short. :) Wasn't intending on writing this yet tonight...but it wanted to be written. Song for this one is The Real Me by Natalie Grant. You should go listen to it while reading this. DO IT. YOUTUBE WAS INVENTED FOR A REASON. And it explains Mello's point of view better. :)_

Chapter 3

Matt woke up to the smell of cinnamon rolls wafting through the apartment. He smiled, remembering last night, and tightened his arms around the boy laying next to him. Mello looked up, a smile on his face, his hair golden in the sun coming through the blinds. "I made cinnamon rolls". Matt's smile broadened; he kissed Mello on the nose. "Come on, they'll get cold" Mello wheedled, trying to drag Matt out of bed, a plan that backfired miserably when Matt gave a yank on Mello's arm, pulling him back down to the bed and rolling over half on top of him. "God invented microwaves for a reason". Mello wasn't sure that God invented microwaves so he could stay in bed kissing and cuddling Matt longer, but he wasn't one to question divine intervention.

Mello let out a happy sigh as Matt ran his lips up Mello's jaw, slipping into a whine as the redhead nipped his ear. He felt Matt tugging at the zipper to his top; they'd fallen asleep in their clothes from last night, and he allowed his friend to remove the offending article, casting it in a pile on the floor. Mello moaned a little and arched as Matt's palm pressed into the small of his back, pushing Mello's chest securely to his own. He ran his tongue over Matt's lips, teasing the other man. Matt's eyes gleamed, and he captured Mello's mouth with his own, devouring the sensation it provoked.

Just as things were really starting to get heated, Mello's stomach let out a growl so ferocious it was enough to stop Matt in his tracks, which was impressive indeed. Laughing, Matt scooped Mello into his arms, ignoring the blonde's protests, and carried him into their sorry excuse for a kitchen, setting him down on the counter and turning to put some of the cinnamon rolls in the microwave. As the delicious treats spun around and got toasty, Matt turned to Mello with a serious expression on his face.

"So, we should probably talk about this. What is it exactly we're doing here?" Mello felt the blood run out of his face. No, he was not ready for this…he couldn't tell Matt…not yet. "What do you think?" He said, evading the question. "Mello, please…I need to know what's happening with us. Hey, don't do that!" Matt tried to catch Mello's wrist as he darted from the kitchen, but Mello was too fast. Catching up with him in the bedroom, Matt was starting to get scared. "Okay, if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to. We can just go back to how we were if that's what you want..but, damn it Mello, I'm trying to talk to you!! I care about you. A lot." But Mello fixed him with a look that Matt couldn't read, grabbed the bag he'd been shoving clothes in and the keys to his motorcycle off the nightstand, leaving the bedroom and moving towards the front door.

Matt caught him this time, forcing him to turn around and look him in the face. "Mel, please, please don't leave me. I can't do that again, Mel. I didn't mean to rush you, I just…" And this time Mello gives him a look that Matt does understand, and his heart sinks. "No, no no no, don't, please, Mello, please, it'll kill me, you know it will, DON'T LEAVE, MELLO PLEASE" Matt was aware that he was begging, that he was clinging to Mello with all of his strength, tears streaming down his face, and he didn't even care. "Please Mello, I love you". Matt sees Mello's eyes soften, just a little, before Mello hits him over the head hard enough to knock him out, and walks out the door.

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Mello felt the tears welling up as he walked away from the apartment, away from the man he loved. It was true, he did love Matt, more than anything in the world. And that scared him senseless. Mello had the desperate need to be in control of every situation, and love is not about control, it's about compromise, about trusting someone else with your heart, with everything you have. And so he ran. He wasn't proud of it, but there it was.

He supposed he'd go back to the mafia; there was really nowhere else to go. And damn it all, on top of everything else, he'd forgotten to bring any chocolate. Desperate, he pulled out his cell and punched in some numbers. "Hello, Lena? Yeah, this is Mello. Could I hire you again to buy some chocolate milk? Yeah, 10 gallons should be good. Oh, and it's going to be delivered to a different address this time. Yeah, that's right."

Mello tried to be strong, but after he hung up the phone, he darted into a gas station bathroom, locking the stall door behind him, and gave into his fear and grief, cursing himself for being afraid and weak and for hurting the only person he's ever really cared about. He leans his head against the filthy wall and wonders if his tears will be enough to wash it clean.

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Matt lay on the cool kitchen floor in the fetal position, tears running unheeded down the side of his face and pooling in his ear. His mind had decided that the despair was too much; his thoughts had all abandoned him, leaving him an empty shell, cast aside. He knew that Mello was scared of getting close to people, but he'd thought since it had been Mello who initiated the contact this time that it was okay…evidently not. Pain seared through him, emotions made physical. Every part of him ached. Maybe if he just stayed here, he'd starve in a few days. Then he wouldn't have to think about how Mello left him, again. He wouldn't have to try and pick up the pieces of his life and move on, a sad imitation of what he used to be.

He didn't know how many hours it had been when he finally sat up on the tiles, hands splayed as if contact with the floor would somehow lend him extra strength. It was decision making time. Either he could stay where he was, try and forget Mello, and move on, or he could track the bastard down and make him love him. Matt took a deep, shaky breath. He'd always been particularly bad at giving up things he liked. And Mello was more than a like. He was an addiction.

Decision made, Matt hauled himself off the floor and over to his computer. There were some people he'd done hacking jobs for who owed him a favor. He would find Mello. And damn it all if he wouldn't grab the traitor by his shoulders and kiss him until he apologized and promised to never run out ever again.

_A/N: Aggghhhh, Mello, why'd you leeeeeaaaaave?!?!?! Poor Matt, I feel so bad for him. :( I realize that Mello had a change of heart REAL fast there, but I feel like that's his personality. He's very volatile, and if something sets him off, like Matt asking where they stand relationship wise, he can just snap. And he's very insecure, which is why he puts on the show of bravado. At least, that's one interpretation I have. The other is that he's just BA, but we're going with the first one for this story. :) Please review! Please? _


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